Try as I might, I could not stop them entering.

I have a certain problem.

In Scotland, there is a not insignificant sheep population. 7,131,000 sheep, according to some random internet source, which would make one sheep per person. This is admittedly somewhat less than Australia's equally dubiously estimated five sheep per capita. The difference, though, is that in Scotland, I seem to see the sheep all the time. They line the roads to Stirling, and roam the hills of Skye. I literally can't walk to the supermarket without passing a small flock (well okay, literally I could if I changed my route).


"But," I hear you say, "sheep are awesome. What's the problem?"

Well, I was getting to that. The problem is that whenever I see a bunch of sheep I instantly get the Robert Wyatt song Heaps Of Sheeps stuck in my head. I barely even noticed this song hiding in my library a month ago, but now rarely a day goes by that I don't think of it.


Now, of course, it must be said that it is a pretty great song! Dreamy and atmospheric... Lyrically amusing... Catchy, but in a Robert Wyatt kind of way. Which seems to be a good thing. So yeah, sure, it's fine. My only worry would be... If this continues. If six months from now I'm still humming Heaps Of Sheeps, secluding myself in some abandoned Folly, hiding from civilised society and the prying eyes of the ubiquitous sheep, clad only in a blanket ironically constructed from the very wool of the very sheeps that haunt me still. I would find myself clutching to my one remaining hope, that someday I may be free from the harrowing influence of the demon sheep, as Global Warming will have shrunk them down to nothing.



Of course, all that is pretty unlikely to happen. So I don't really know why I brought it up.